How to Talk to Your Employer About Legal Pay

Asking your employer to pay you legally can feel awkward. You don't want to rock the boat or create tension in a relationship that's built on trust. But legal pay protects both of you — and the conversation doesn't have to be difficult.

Why This Conversation Matters

If your employer pays you $3,000 or more per year (that's most nannies), they're legally required to handle employment taxes. This isn't optional — the IRS considers you a household employee, not an independent contractor.

But here's the thing: most employers aren't trying to avoid taxes. They just don't know the rules. A 2023 survey found that over 75% of families who employ nannies are unaware of their tax obligations.

By bringing it up, you're not accusing anyone of anything. You're helping your employer avoid potential IRS penalties while securing important protections for yourself.

Before the Conversation

Do your homework first. Know the basics so you can answer questions:

• The annual threshold is $3,000 for 2026
• The employer pays 7.65% on top of your wages (their FICA share)
• You pay 7.65% from your wages (your FICA share)
• Services like NannyKeeper handle everything automatically for $10-18/month
• The employer can deduct their share of FICA taxes on Schedule H

Pick the right moment. Don't bring it up when your employer is stressed, rushing out the door, or dealing with the kids. Choose a calm moment — maybe at the end of the day, or via a thoughtful text or email.

Lead with benefits, not obligations. "I found something that would be great for both of us" lands better than "You're legally required to..."

Sample Scripts

The Casual Text Approach

"Hey! I've been reading about nanny taxes and I found a service that makes it really easy. It would give me proper pay stubs and a W-2, and it handles all the tax stuff automatically for you. Would you be open to checking it out? Here's the link: nannykeeper.com"

The In-Person Approach

"I wanted to bring up something I've been thinking about. I know neither of us loves dealing with taxes, but I've been reading about how nanny taxes work and I think it would be really good for both of us to do things officially. I'd get Social Security credits and proper documentation, and you'd be covered if the IRS ever asks. I found a service that handles everything — pay stubs, W-2s, the quarterly stuff. It's about $10-18 a month. Can I send you the link?"

The Email Approach

Subject: Quick thought about payroll

Hi [name],

I hope this doesn't come out of left field! I've been learning about how nanny taxes work, and it turns out that families who pay above a certain threshold are supposed to handle employment taxes for their nanny. For 2026, that threshold is $3,000.

I know it sounds complicated, but I found a service called NannyKeeper that handles everything automatically — the tax calculations, pay stubs, W-2s, all of it. It would cost about $10-18/month.

The benefits for me would be huge — Social Security credits, unemployment eligibility, and proper income documentation. And for you, it means being compliant without any extra work.

Here's their site if you want to take a look: nannykeeper.com

Happy to talk about it whenever works for you!

Common Objections (and How to Respond)

"But then I'd have to pay more."

Your employer's additional cost is about 7.65% of your wages (their FICA share) plus a small amount for unemployment insurance. For a nanny earning $40,000/year, that's about $3,100/year — roughly $60/week. Many employers are surprised it's less than they expected.

"Can't I just give you a 1099?"

No. The IRS is clear: nannies are employees, not independent contractors. The family controls when, where, and how the work is done. Misclassifying you as a contractor creates bigger legal risk than handling taxes correctly.

"We've always done it this way."

That's understandable. Many families don't realize the rules until someone brings it up. The important thing is getting it right going forward. There's no penalty for starting now.

"I don't have time for this."

That's exactly why services like NannyKeeper exist. The employer enters basic info once, and everything — calculations, pay stubs, quarterly reminders, W-2s — is handled automatically.

What If They Say No?

If your employer declines, you have a few options:

1. Give them time. Sometimes people need to process new information. Send them a link to a nanny tax guide and let them read it on their own schedule.
2. Revisit later. Bring it up again in a month or two, especially around tax season when the topic feels more relevant.
3. Know your rights. If your employer refuses to pay legally and you earn above the threshold, both of you are technically in violation of tax law. You can report the situation to your state labor department if needed — but this should be a last resort.

The Key Mindset

This conversation isn't adversarial. You're not demanding something unfair. You're asking your employer to follow existing rules that protect both of you.

The vast majority of these conversations go well. Most employers appreciate being informed and are happy to set things up correctly once they understand how easy it is.

You deserve proper pay. Your employer deserves to be compliant. Everyone wins.